There’s nothing quite like getting dumped to make you take a solid inventory of your life, am I right? What do I need from my life now? How am I different than I was before? What can I do to improve myself going forward? Even if it’s not an especially bad break-up, it’s rarely any fun.
So when my last conquest flew the coop, I was in the unenviable position to ask these questions. My cousin sent me a meme that at first just made me laugh, but the more I marinated in it the more it struck me: “don’t cry over boys. Do some squats and make them cry wishing they still had that a–.” It’s funny, but it also got me thinking.
I was an athlete as a younger person. I loved to tumble, dance, to swim. Being in healthy shape came naturally to me. I had long since lapsed out of those habits, though. Could I get my fit figure back? As skeptical as I was, I knew it would make my ex nuts if I were to get in really great shape. The idea of having a gorgeous revenge body started to sound awesome.
6 Steps to Getting Your Revenge Body.
- The first thing to do is get up! Of course, you are sad. You’ve experienced a loss. But you didn’t lose the ability to move, and people need to move. Even if you don’t feel like it. And, believe it or not, you will feel better afterward. Endorphins are your friends. You don’t have to sign up for a marathon on day one. I know this sounds so basic. It’s not rocket science: get up. But it’s hard to do when you don’t want to. We’ve all felt that. Just trust me: you’ll be doing yourself a major solid by getting up and moving around.
- Find the perfect diet for you, and eat well. I don’t know about you, but when I’m upset about something I tend to eat my feelings. Having the structure of a great diet and exercise program, like these, helps you make healthy choices and build healthy habits. They say that 80% of getting in good shape is what happens in the kitchen, not the gym. One thing my ex and I did all the time ate at restaurants, so when we broke up I started spending more time in my kitchen. At first, I didn’t want to, but it became necessary. Let’s face facts: one cannot live on Hot Pockets alone.
- Go back to what you knew. Was there a sport or an activity that you enjoyed when you were younger? There’s a good chance that there is a class or activity for adults near you. Do something you remember you liked doing. It feels less like the drudgery of hauling your cookies (err, sorry) to the gym every day and doing the same workout over and over ad infinitum.
- Try something new. Is there a new CrossFit or Soul Cycle nearby? Did you hear about a yoga class that a friend loves? Did you always want to learn to bellydance? Try something new! Expand your horizons, meet new people, and exercise muscles you forgot you had. Not only can you get a great workout but doing something new helps put some distance between you and the time you were with your ex. It’s a total win-win.
- Bring a friend to classes … Or find an exercise buddy to take a walk with. Admittedly this one does not always work for me. Planning with other people can become complicated, but on a good day, having a workout pal to have fun with and be accountable to is helpful.
- Don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, don’t beat yourself up if you make mistakes or go off your diet. The world is not going to end over a large meal or a skipped workout. This I promise you. If you hurt yourself, take time to care for yourself. It’s discouraging, but you, too, can get back up onto the proverbial horse and ride on.
For me, I started out with the idea that the hotter I looked the more my ex would kick himself, but in the months that followed my new habits became the self-care I needed to move forward in life. What started out as wanting a great body out of revenge grew into the healthiest I’ve felt in my adult life! And just for good measure, I no longer care what what’s-his-name thinks of me.
Featured image: CC 0 Public Domain PX Here.